READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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