get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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