I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
