So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
do herpes really smell.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
