legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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