PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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