Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
