dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
How's work?
Spinning.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
