Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
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