ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
