these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize
