I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
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