so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
