Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
You can't motorboat a personality
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
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