Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize
