my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
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