idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize