Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
