let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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