yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Randomize
