Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
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