Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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