so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Randomize
