question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Randomize
