Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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