ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Randomize
