she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
