Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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