I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
