either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Randomize
