The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
