It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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