The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize
