i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
