I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
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