She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize