The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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