Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
