i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Randomize
