I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
