I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I could have mohawked her pubes.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
