i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Randomize
