Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
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