Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
