What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
