GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
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