you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
