The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
