big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
