i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
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