i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Randomize
