I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
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