it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
