Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
