I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
