Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
You can't just leave with hair like that
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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