Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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