The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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