It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
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