I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
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