i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
