It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
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