would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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