He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
