how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
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