i wish my penis had a tongue
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
That accounts for only three of the penises
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
