so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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