And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
